She was my only female lover
She worked for me whan I had the grossly inflated title of Field Services Director at a small market research firm in San Francisco. She was one of a group of people who were working for me that I hung out with. They shared an apartment. The others were gay men.
Siobhan and I started spending lots of time together. I liked her alot. But didn't think of it expanding beyond that. I was interested in one of her roommates. A very bright, cynical appealing guy.
I don't clearly recall what happened. We were sipping wine, probably smoking Thai sticks, listening to records. I guess we were having such a good time together that one of us hugged or kissed the other. And I guess the kiss went on longer than anticipated.
At some point we were naked. And I found myself doing something I'd never done before. The motion was familiar enough but the orifice was altogether new. When I came I was as surprised as delighted. I'd never expected to make love to a woman. Didn't even know that I could.
Siobhan and I would live together for five years. We left San Francisco for New York. Later we'd pass through Atlanta, Savannah, Bethesda, back to San Francisco before moving to Chapel Hill, NC.
One day shortly after we opened the used bookshop Siobhan called me to say she wouldn't be picking me up from work. She was leaving for Texas with a mutual friend.
I understand why that happened. But I'm not telling you. No one deserved 'blame.' I remember with fondness.
For a long time after I wasn't interested in even the most superficial involvement with another person of either gender.
I'd eventually decided to call myself pansexual and was surprised later to encounter women who found my pansexuality spooky or threatening.