900 Words About the Penis
"cock dick gashnaz jammy johnson junk knob love stick one-eyed trouser mouser purple-headed warrior schlong tellywhacker wang willie yammy"
- Sickboy's Slang
I tried yourdictionary.com's thesaurus. Penis got irrelevant answers like famous. Phallus at least got foolish. Thesaurus.com needs a sex ed. class, it didn't know about penises.
The Almighty Phallus
There are plenty of guys who think it is. God's gift to women and fags. Certainly the 53 year old Jim here in Durham does. Synchronously enough I got an IM from him while typing this. Used to get them all the time but hadn't for about a year. His message is merely "Look at my profile and let me know if you're interested." I'm not interested in anyone's profile nowadays but I look. There's that same unforgettable photo of a semi-erect penis stretched across a Microsoft Internet Keyboard.
Early I wrote how my late awareness of my woman loving side led me to an almost abstract fascination with the variegated female breast.
I forgot about nature's infinite variety in penis construction.
Short, long, thin, fat, men with Peyronie's Disease. And foreskin. I remember chatting on gay.com with a 23 year old I was thinking seriously about meeting despite my wariness of someone that young. He was scanning my old web site as we chatted. With fervor he suddenly typed Oh! Wow! You're uncircumcised! While you want to be pleasing, there is a preferred sequence. So we never met. Thinking back I think his enthusiasm was innocent. I'll never completely win the battle against my judgmental side.
I did put that in the physical description under my photos. But I'd been thinking sparing those guys who'd be repelled by it than adding to my virtual personal magnetism.
I'd never given cut/uncut any thought. Pushed to the mat I'd admit a nearly undetectable preference for the latter. If I were shopping for Penises at Porno-Wal-Mat I'd go for the aerodynamic look.
To the degree that I had a conscious preference I'll admit to liking small ones. But that fits neatly into my liking for whatever is opposite of the ostensibly desired norm. Confronted with something of the John Holmesian species I'm not sure that I'd know how to cope with it but I'd give it the old college try.
Some men's - like Jim above - only online representation of themselves is a penis pic. That handily lets you know that aren't interested in it or any other part of him.
In just looking at people and things I like most things. Some folks are rivetingly ordinary in how they embody a cliché. Ugliness can mesmerize. And I do think there really are people so 'ugly they are appealing.'
All that damned penis spam. Everybody gets it, the leaders of the Russian Senate probably have to delete it everyday. How many people buy those hydraulic pumps, magic pills or books on 'natural techniques?' I'd really like to know how many people pay for phalloplasty. There are plenty of surgeons performing it. A few work with ftm transsexuals but most prey on insecure genetic males. I kind of wish I'd met someone who had it when I was younger: you have to wonder what it does to the texture of the penis.
Proof that many men do worry about the size of their penis. I'll admit that - there's no possible way to say this without sounding, um, something or another - if mine were subnormal it would've bothered me. But my limited statistical research didn't show me anyone who was apt to get laughed out of bed. [Ha, Richard, more proof that you are more masculine-identified than you like to think.]
Penis size is in the eye of the beholder. Lots of these guys are likely perfectly normal. Their mind's eye sees inadequacy. Body Dismorphic Disorder the shrinks call it. Or maybe they think it'll make them more desirable. I guess it will in the eyes of size queens.
9" or better isn't unusual in gay personal ads. Gay men are exceptionally susceptible to masculine imagery. I never saw mention of it in ads from women. There must be women who care, who've been influenced by the pervasive conern some men have.
I thought I'd see what I could find on Google. According to Penis size: Survey of female perceptions of sexual satisfaction conducted at University of Texas-Pan American:
Women reported that penis width was more important for their sexual satisfaction than penis length.
The survey population was 50 females students 18 - 25. Typical lousy social research.
While I was searching I also saw this: Sexual Preference In Women Linked To Difference In The Inner Ear
Echo-like sounds made by the inner ears of homosexual and bisexual women are weaker than the same sounds made by heterosexual women.
Reminds me of all the silliness about the gay gene.