Hating your own genitals
Sometimes it take me a longish while to understand.
It wasn't easy to always know what seperated the borderline between transvestite and transsexual. Academically I knew the former only dressed, the latter changed, feeling that biology had made an ugly error.
Skimming through LJ I found the saddest transsexual I can imaginable. As a male she'd despised her penis. It wasn't merely inappropriate. It was ugly, bad, essentially evil.
She accomplished her transformation. But as a woman she felt that way about the genitals of all men. She felt no attraction to women so the happy alternative of living as a lesbian wasn't a possibility. Unequivocally I've never read more miserable words online.
We've all been lonely. But she had a priori forbidden any possible intimacy.
Thankfully most transsexual persons don't feel anything akin to that.
But it did help me understand transsexuality more than the abstract idea that one's body was inappropriate. If being shed of your genitalia is necessary to your happiness sex reassignment surgery is the only wise choice.
People have a more various relationship with their genitals than mainstream culture is apt to ever reflect.
In West Hollywood I met a boy who told me his penis was unimportant. He didn't mind it, he just didnt' care that he had it. He did need something to piss out of.
I was very charmed. A few years later I thought back and wondered if, perchance, I was in some way a bad person for feeling that way. I like feminine guys but I've never tried to feminize one (had no end of offers, none ever taken). Thinking about it more I knew I'd always been ready to oblige any urgent penis presented to me Besides he was a frail blonde. Like anybody else drunk with the beauty of a fetish object I might've thought it cute had he confessed to regularly voting Republican.
My own penis is OK with me. We have a pretty clear understanding of what is going on between us. But I can't imagine perferring it over a clitoris. It sounds like a superior orgasm engine. My main reason for being glad to be male is: nobody assumes I'm 'emotional,' or like to cook. And at 6'3" I'm not likely to be raped.